Seeking to dispel the notion that he’s some sort of effete gun-hating pansy ass, Barack Obama revealed in a hard-hitting interview that he has actually held a gun when shooting skeet at Camp David. No, really!
“We do skeet shooting all the time,” bragged Mr. Obama, making a show of scratching his alleged testicles. “Not the girls, but oftentimes guests of mine go up there.” And if you can’t trust the manliness of a guy who throws down words like “oftentimes,” you’re clearly a racist.
Dirty Barry, as he likes to be called when he’s “packing heat,” claims that he has profound respect for the tradition of hunting in our country (despite a tragic experience with a snipe hunt in Hawaii when he was high on weed and a little blow), and says that those who dismiss his gun-loving ways out of hand “make a big mistake.” Presumably because he might shoot them while having his monthly surge of testosterone.
Still, in the face of the president’s broad new push against guns, it’s reassuring to know that he deeply respects the Constitution’s second amendment, which explicitly and without infringement gives Americans the right to defend their homes and shores from the tyranny of skeets.