Author Archives: Emily

About Emily

I, Emily, am the opposite of green! Visit my blog: What is the Opposite of Green?

USDA Backs Down like a Bad Weinerschnitzel

In 2012, the USDA enacted a set of rules for public schools to abide by, which were connected to a law aimed at reducing fat and salt in kids’ school lunches. My friend Michelle Obama was the commander of this … Continue reading

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Stamping Out Stupidity

I love reading news stories about our government that make me die a little inside. Really, I do, because it’s the asinine junk that inspires me to write. And what could be better than laying on the couch in a … Continue reading

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Michelle Obama Gives Life Changing Advice

Last week, Michelle Obama went to some boring town in Wisconsin to campaign for something that is “the single best thing Americans can do to improve their health.” What is it, you may ask? Eat M&Ms while laying on the … Continue reading

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Don’t Ride Your Bike to Work Week

Last week was Ride Your Bike to Work Week. And even though I live 0.8 miles from work and my sister has me pegged as the laziest person ever for not walking or riding my bike there daily, I refused … Continue reading

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Global Colding

Remember that adorable story about the Earth being too hot? Maybe we need more holes in the ozone layer?

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Earth Day Art

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Is that Placenta I Smell?

There are a few things in life that really gross me out. Squirrels, the word “urinal,” strangers cutting my toenails, and people mushing bananas in their teeth are just a few examples of things that make me want to puke … Continue reading

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50 Reasons Why You Should be the Opposite of Green

In celebration of my 50th blog post on What is the Opposite of Green?, I composed a list of 50 reasons why YOU should be the opposite of green! 1. Everyone and their grandmother’s parakeet is going green these days. … Continue reading

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My Weekend in the Crunchiest City Ever

I spent last weekend with some of the most darling people in the world in the most liberal city in the world: Madison, Wisconsin. Madison is home to 4,000 fair trade coffee shops and more bikes and hipsters and skinny … Continue reading

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Earth Hour

My fiancé’s darling sister Lori texted me last night to inform me that she was at a Red Wings game and they made an announcement for “Earth Hour.” After wasting my time researching it, I discovered that Earth Hour is a … Continue reading

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Mayor Bloomberg Needs a Cigarette

One of the things that bothers me most about politicians is that most of them assume that Americans are complete dimwits. I mean, for realz… does the liberal media really think we give a hoot about Michelle Obama’s workout regimen? … Continue reading

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Just Give the Dog Some Bacon and Call it a Day

I recently heard something absolutely hilarious, and that is this: organic dog food exists. Organic dog food!!!!!!!! I’m dying over this! What happened to the good old days when you would throw your dog table scraps, like turkey legs and gristle? … Continue reading

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Quote of the Day

“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.” – Ronald Reagan

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Happy Global Warming! Part 3

Another winter storm + delish snowfall + cold temps + normal winter weather patterns = Al Gore’s worst nightmare.

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Baby Thoughts: Not my Placenta

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And the Michigan Green School Award Goes to…

I got an email a few days ago reminding me of the deadline for the “Michigan Green Schools” application. I’m not sure how I would have ever gotten lumped into a group of people who give two flying figs about … Continue reading

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Quote of the Day

“If you’ve seen one tree, you’ve seen them all.” -Ronald Reagan

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Michelle Obama and Chicken and Waffles Chips

This Frank guy is hilarious! Or maybe he wasn’t trying to be funny and is asking a legitimate question…?

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“But there’s organic hot cocoa at the finish line!” Part I

I raced in a snowshoe 5K on Saturday. It was fab. Actually, only select parts of the day were fab. Exploring another part of the delightful U.P. and being outside in the falling snow and the oodles of icy cold … Continue reading

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A Baby’s Opinion on the Green Movement

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